It was an odd day because inspection came. But unfortunately I hardly noticed. Unfortunately because I had hoped that they’d also talk to the students. I think that it would give more clarity about why it’s so important that schools like this exist. I would have loved to tell them about how my motivation ‘miraculously’ returned. In the circle we said our goodbyes to Lisanne. I didn’t know her and that day I probably saw her for the second time. To some students she truly meant a lot. One boy had to cry. Astonished, I looked back on my own life.

I laugh with tears.

The only way for my tears to flow out of my body?

I cry with a smile on my face.

The only way for my body to cry without anyone noticing?

Only at the most trivial displeasures do I feel relaxed enough to really cry.

When I was a preschooler I would always start screaming at home after I got back from school. At school I was the perfect student: There was a sign in the classroom. One side was red. The other side was green. Only one person at a time was allowed to go to the bathroom. When the sign was red, someone was already in the bathroom. When the sign was green you were free to go. When someone forgot to turn back the sign, I peed my pants.

You can cry in primary school, but can you truly cry?

And in secondary school you definitely can’t cry!

Once I start crying, I can cry for hours on end.

Do I cry about all those things I couldn’t cry about before?

But at LIFE! ?

At LIFE! everything’s relaxed. I think that if I had to cry at LIFE!, I’d be able to. But I also notice a difference at home! I’m far better at calmly solving problems. Instead of screaming in panic.

I’m so glad to be going to LIFE! now! I realise now that I can truly be alive here.